KKSmith.net

The other day I went to the N*sync concert. I really had second thoughts about going because every year before that Krissy and I would always try and get tickets. This year when I heard I got them, I was happy, yet i felt a lot of sadness. I thought about it again and thought: I bet Krissy was on the phone and she was the one who got me through the line. That helped. During the concert, they played my favortie song and it was also hers too. At that moment I wanted to break down and cry. But something kept me from doing that. It felt as if she was there with me, enjoying the concert. I got chills and a creepy feeling that she was standing right next to me screaming her heart out and loving them just as much as I was. And all of the sudden I was smiling and I couldnt stop! and it was as if she was making me smile and telling me to enjoy it and to be comforted because she was there with me. It was then when tears of joy came down my face. It been hard for me lately. I feel as though I should be trying to get over this. But I cant. So many memories fill my head every day and it seems as if not a day goes by when I dont think about her. Songs, and places and everything reminds me of her. At the KU studio there is a very beautiful picture of her and I always say hello and goodbye to her every time im there. I was surfing the web the other day and found this Sailor Moon site, and there was this song that was playing and it reminded me of Kristin. I could just hear her voice saying something like: oh wow! i really love this song!and then it also made me think that this would be a song that she would have LOVED to dance to. I have the site and e-mail me if you would want to listen. Tayrn I cant imagine how hard this is for you and if Im having this much trouble all of my thoughts and prayers are with you and if you ever need anything im here for you. For anyone who is reading this, i just want to say that its ok to express our feelings however we want. I just learned this.(thank you virginia) How ever much we want to break down sometimes and cry, we shouldnt hold back. but we must also think that she is in a much better place now. and if we have any resent about doing anything, we should know that she would want us to do that. Like the other day when i went to pick up taryns girls, i did not want to go to the house. even though i was shaking as i walked up the steps, i knew that krissy would want me to be there. i havent gone inside yet though. but krissy is over looking all of us and a little bit of her is with each and every one of us. she loves us and we love her and she knows that. i also think that beliving that things happen for a reason works too. she missed her dad so much and we just have to remember that. I also think this site is very helpful! it is so nice and words cant express how i feel about this site. i was looking through the web sites and i was remebering when i was over at krissys house with her and watching her bulid her SM site and how happy she was with her accomplishment it was almost contagious! I really didnt know what to write on the discussion board. but i think just writing down whatever you want to say or your feelings really works. i know that whenever i need to talk or remember ill come here. thats a good idea for everyone else as well! i love everyone and anyone who reads this and i know we will all get through this together!